It doesn’t take a rocket scientist or even a cat to tell you that many surfaces are dirty as shit. The doorknob, your home phone, the buttons on the ATM, the gas pump, so much shit. So that stands to reason that Metro is one of the filthiest in that respect.
If you have ever taken Red Line (or any frequently traveled bus/rail line), you know what I’m talking about. You don’t think about it, but the handles you grab onto when your standing on the bus and try not to fall on your ass; yea, those shits are the equivalent of a skanky whore; they don’t make bleach strong enough for these things. And even worse, on an traffic-heavy line, such as Red Line, every seat you take reeks of piss, ass, or any of that shit that comes out of a body.
Fast forward those unpleasant realities into my day for just a second. I’m sitting on Orange Line, minding my own shit, texting like a fucking beast… eventually realize I’m over-hearing a conversation from a couple dudes behind me. Didn’t even really take a good look at them, but just from the way they were talking, I can safely say they were two Hispanic dudes, but not just any Hispanic dudes… nope they had to be wasted beyond reason; even birds would be jealous about how high these guys were.
Anyway, they’re talking about the cops and how they hated how they stopped them anytime they tried to do something. Way too many curse words to really start listing here, but I really picked up on one part of their conversation:
“Dude, imagine if I took a piss in here…”
How about let’s not, yeah? Remember, we’re actually on the Orange Line here. But have no fear, his wingman over there helped him out.
“Man, you should totally do it”
“Naw, man, that’s some nasty shit, homes.”
“Ahhh, pinche maricon, do it!”
(“pinche maricon” is derogatory and I don’t wanna translate, Google that shit yourself.)
When you’re higher than clouds, this kind of argument ends quickly, and peer pressure is a mother fucker. I hear nothing but giggling in the back for the next few seconds. I picked up my backpack once I heard the giggling. Nothing was happening. But then the smell… I looked down… Forgot to keep my feet flat and looked at the sides of my shoes.
Covered in piss.
And just a while back, some fool threw up on the exact pair of shoes, but I took the time to clean them… I don’t even wanna look at these.
Hope you had a little fun reading this; I was planning on writing something a little more insightful about something else that happened, but I’ve got some studying to get on and I can save that story for another day. Mind you that if something doesn’t happen on a day, I’ll point it out and mention older stories that I haven’t mentioned before on this page, hope y’all won’t mind. Smiley face.